This feeling is as old as time itself. Sometimes, suddenly, without apparent reason you might feel unbearably sad. It all turns grey with a bitterness in your mouth, the worst part is you reaching out and finding you are all alone.

There is a difference between being depressed and being unhappy. Most people will tell you that you are just unhappy,my shrink said something interesting the other day. He said with being unhappy you are able to seek comfort and let that comfort come through to you and ease the pain. You can actually seek out and obtain other’s sympathy and concern, but in depression neither the sympathy and concern of others nor the gentle love of oneself is available nor enough. I was a little bit shocked since this is not what I see in movies where you are on some couch and they ask you what you are feeling and the person takes down notes. But the honesty made me smile(in my head)

How can you describe this experience and convey its meaning to someone else? Saying you are depressed or really down or fed up can mean to the other person no more than the ‘Monday blues’ or something you could snap out of if you really tried hard.

I have a friend who told me when he wakes up he is scared of getting out of bed, he has slept on this bed for years and he is too scared to get out of it and walk across the room to open the door. So he stays in bed and thinks the most terrible thoughts. So he is frightened. He wants to get up and rush around doing things so he will be thinking of something else.

If you tell your friends you are damned, they will hasten to tell you that you are not, that God is not like that, you are a good person. You tell them that you cannot do your job properly, you are not a good person, father /mother…. They will tell you you are the best at everything

Honestly there are worse things than having behaved foolishly in public, worse than miniature betrayals, Imagine not being able to sleep because voices are screaning in your head. The fear turns your life upside down, undermining your confidence until the smallest decision, ‘what should I wear?’ becomes an impossibility

Over the years I have come to understand that inside the prison of depression you are very selfish. But arent we all selfish when fighting for our lives? Feeling the terror of imminent death, so we strive to save ourselves. But if you told people how frightened you are they would think you are mad. Well maybe you are. The thought of this makes you more frightened and it becomes greater than that of death. That is why many people suffering resort to death. The fear is so great that death might be welcomed as peace, a way to cease the fear. But what if after death there is something worse than here? Or death may bring peace but dying is so painful.

Depression is a prison where you are both the suffering prisoner and cruel jailer

We need to take a journey down the murkier side of the féminine-masculine gender dynamics. Though women want different things there is something in particular that they want and they communicate this in a vague language that men find confusing….

Have a backbone , don’t be a push over.

But dont confuse gender “equality” with gender “uniformity”. Although men and women were created equally they are inherently different. Therefore their natural and most preferred ROLES in a relationship will be different.
Some women would never admit this but they want a man who knows how to walk that thin line between caring, thoughtful lover and firm assertive leader.

Look at it this way, things are going well with you and the woman in your life. You rarely argue, you really enjoy her company and the sparks are flying in every direction between you two. Then all of a sudden, she explodes on you for something so PETTY and you are shocked. Her emotional blow catches you off-guard. The more you try to explain yourself the worse it gets.
She slowly descends into a full emotional meltdown. You feebly attempt to apologise to her for something you are no longer sure you are innocent of.
In an attempt to restore harmony once again you resort to apologies, maybe food, chocolate and all that and also a promise to

“make things right”

though you did not do anything wrong in the first place

So what should a man do?

The first step is to recognise what is really going on when women behave this way and secondly learn how to approach these situations with the mindset of a mature masculine man with the brain of a woman. It is essential that men be able to adapt to the unforseen outbursts and being able to deal with a difficult, emotional or demanding woman.

REASON? A man can only take so much emotional abuse from a woman before he eventually breaks down. That breaking point may come ten or twenty years later in a marriage or it may come a fee months into a new relationship. Fact is, being tested and not knowing how to respond may cause a man to experience anger, frustration, bitterness and resentment. All the emotions that most of my friends and I know caused us to fall out of love and eventually despise a woman.

A man may be demoralised if his woman constantly tests him and he doesn’t know how to respond successfully, and if he fails to grasp these points she begins to withhold her respect, support and physical affection for him. Therefore he starts to feel unloved, misunderstood and disrespected.

No matter how strong a man thinks he is, over time his armour will crack until he starts to feel resentment and bitterness.

Sadly when a man’s feelings of bitterness towards his woman start to overwhelm him he will move beyond simply despising the woman he once cared for. Instead he will move into the most dangerous state of INDIFFERENCE. The man who is indifferent towards his woman doesn’t care what happens to her or the relationship.

At this point, the poor guy is officially “checked out” of the relationship and is only one argument away from calling it quits. That is of course, if his equally frustrated wife or girlfriend hasn’t already initiated her own exit strategy……

Till next time, live life😎

Think about the future but live for the moment